I Will Die On This Hill, Ashburn & Edwards

The autistic parent, non-autistic parent communities are standing on two hills, divided by rivers of information and connected by bridges. In both communities, there are bridge-builders, bridge-burners, and people who believe there should be no bridge at all. What we must all keep in mind is that our children are standing on the bridges. If we burn the bridges, the children perish. If we remove the bridge, the children drown. The only real option to save our children is by working together to make those bridges stronger.

    ~ Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards

Meghan Ashburn is a former teacher and a White, allistic mother of four sons, two of whom are twins diagnosed with autism. Jules Edwards is a late-in-life diagnosed autistic and ADHD mother of three Black and Ojibwe autistic children. Each was well into her journey of seeking knowledge and help about how best to raise her child, when they met. The two could not have been more different culturally and genetically. And, unsurprisingly, due to diverging theories and plentiful misinformation, they respectively lived on the two different hills (autistic parent-non-autistic-parent communities) they describe above. 

As I read through the pages, chapters, and then to the end of this remarkable book, I felt myself moving right along in learning with the mothers, and other diverse individuals contributing their unique situations and perspectives. Most impressive was the authors’ early recognition and faithful ongoing commitment to listening with respect to the viewpoint of each, whether autistic parent-non-autistic-parent communities. This vital element of respect is impressively prevalent in all discussions of the issues. 

There’s so much for each of us to learn. The most important things I learned are that the autistic spectrum is wide and deep. The diverse needs of each individual child doesn’t fit the mold of one-program-fits-all. Heartbreakingly, our present economy and social structure affords more children of privileged parents the access to programs—the first hill—and often places disadvantaged families on the second hill. It’s vital that we seek to work together with all people, both the autistic parent-non-autistic-parent communities, with respect and kindness.

The book concludes with a detailed chapter of how we can each find a niche to match our abilities to help. And lastly is an excellent multi-page resource list at the end. 

“Our goal is to make the world a better place for all autistics, present and future,” the authors tell us.

Indeed, reading this powerful book is an immeasurable way for us all to become more knowledgeable. Both communities–autistic parent-non-autistic-parent communities–need our support. If inclined, we can become a large or small part of broadening the support network needed for these two groups.

Enthusiastically, I recommend I Will Die On This Hill without reservation.

Note: This book review appeared earlier on Story Circle Network’s award winning book review site.